Jane (not her real name), was going through a tough period when she came across atherapistFifteen years ago. At that time, she had recently ...
Jane (not her real name), was going through a tough period when she came across atherapistFifteen years ago. At that time, she had recently broken up with her two friends, one of whom she had previously dated before they became friends.
“I’ve always had trouble maintaining friendships, and then basically the people I used to text all day were suddenly just gone from my life," she remembers.
It was a critical situation that required additional support for her. Daisy, who is 47 years old, utilized a therapy directory to locate a professional with a clinic close to Selfridges, which was near her job at that time. Over half of the therapists listed on the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) directory charge between £40 and £60 per session in 2025; Daisy mentions that she believes her therapy sessions cost approximately £40 each at that time.
Daisy saw the therapist once a week but foundThe sessions proved to be challenging and disheartening.I found each session extremely uncomfortable," she states. "The therapist would begin each session in silence and wait for me to speak, which I disliked.
After three months, she had not noticed any improvements and informed the therapist that she wanted to conclude their sessions. "I truly felt it wasn't effective," she said. "I was dreading each session. I wasn't gaining anything from them. I felt worse after the sessions than I did before. I just couldn't afford it anymore. Even when I told her how much I dreaded the meetings, she didn't make any changes. I would often end up crying, leaving exhausted and unhappy without any feeling of relief or emotional release."
When I tried to end our sessions, saying I couldn't afford them, she used my challenging relationship with money to persuade me to continue," she states. "The therapist told me: 'You need more therapy to address why you don't believe you're worth the money.'
Daisy continued for a few more sessions but eventuallystopped seeing the therapist.
Today, she occasionally feels jealous of friends who appear to have found therapists with whom they can effectively work. "When friends talk about their own therapy, I think, 'Oh, it must be nice to have that weekly release, to be able to just say anything to someone who's paid to listen to you.'"
However, Daisy has not pursued therapy again, even though she believes it might be beneficial, due to her concern that the therapist would once more disregard her request to end the session. "I think I could benefit from therapy now, but that experience has discouraged me for good, because I don't want to risk being stuck again," she says. "It's a real pity, but I regret having gone."
Therapy is a sector that lacks formal regulation, meaning clients can only report their therapist by reaching out to the relevant professional board (if the therapist is affiliated with one). There isn't a centralized list of therapists in the UK, but the two main professional bodies for therapists, the BACP and The United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP), have approximately 65,000 and 12,000 members respectively. Regarding patient referrals,the NHS estimatesthat in the period up to April 2024, more than 1.2 million individuals began receiving talking therapy via its offerings.
Jaye Cole, 46, is a wedding photographer who works alongside her husband Matt, 47. Their profession faced significant challenges during the pandemic, leading the couple to seek therapy together in 2021. They found a therapist with a PhD, who had written academic papers and served as a therapy instructor at a university—someone with roughly two decades of experience.
They began their sessions online and quickly realized that his method differed from the experiences they had individually.therapyFor instance, the therapist revealed that he had recently gone through a separation.
"In the first two or three meetings, we both observed that he had a slight 'intrusive' approach to therapy, but I attributed it to the chance that marriage counseling might be more 'proactive,'" Jaye says.
The situation deteriorated during the sixth session when the therapist's roommate entered the room where the online meeting was taking place. "After the session, we discussed how unpleasant it was, but we decided that as long as it didn't keep happening, we would keep working with him," Jaye says.
In the following and last session, the therapist's roommate walked through the living room again while Jaye and Matt were in their session — they could hear her unpacking her groceries and preparing dinner for another 15 to 20 minutes.
He wasn't wearing headphones, so I assume if we could hear her, she could hear our therapy session," she says. "To this day, I still feel a bit uneasy when I remember the incident in my mind. I can laugh about it now, but at the time, it was really distressing.
The couple sought out a different therapist, but Jaye mentions that it took twice as long because both of them felt a lack of trust. "I recall thinking at the time, 'Oh, I just hope our marriage lasts until we find the right person,'" she says.
Many individuals who encounter a therapist who fails to uphold client confidentiality, like Jaye and Matt, found themselves too preoccupied with managing their initial concerns and searching for a new therapist to file a complaint. "We felt too overwhelmed by our own issues to consider reporting him," she explains. "We simply didn't have the emotional capacity to handle it."
"When we were prepared, we discussed it with friends, and several asked if we would report him to his licensing board. Even now, I still feel a bit guilty. Are there people who had a terrible experience with him because I didn't speak up?" Four years later, after having successful couples therapy with a different therapist, Matt and Jaye remain happily married, and their business is doing well.
However, for any therapy clients who encounter unprofessional or damaging therapists, the BACP offers Get Help, a support line for individuals who feel disappointed by their therapist, regardless of whether they were a BACP member.
You don't have to look far to discover many individuals who express regret over therapy in online communities and support groups. The primary cause? Problems with the therapist, not the decision to seek assistance.
There are hundreds of various forms of therapy, and numerous professionals may have their unique approaches. However, this doesn't mean it's impossible to locate someone who meets your requirements.
Dr. Lisa Morrison, head of professional standards, policy, and research at BACP, states: “If you're unsure about your therapy or therapist, wish to gain a better understanding of what constitutes good practice, or are seeking reassurance, our team is available to listen and provide clear, well-informed assistance.”
