It is August 2024, and I amTourette’s Syndrome (TS)– consistently worse in the stifling heat of summer – has become intolerableintrusive, w...
It is August 2024, and I amTourette’s Syndrome (TS)– consistently worse in the stifling heat of summer – has become intolerableintrusive, withconstant quakes and pressures shaping my emotional state.
At the same time, increasingstress and anxiety– primarily due to work-related stress – resulted in a diagnosis of firsthigh blood pressure, then depressionand, finally, moderate to severeADHD.
And my usual excuse, a well-calibrated but draining‘masking’– the physical control of tics – is not working for me. My usual strong resilience is starting to fade under this pressure.
I didn't receive a diagnosis of TS until I was 32 years old — 22 years ago. From what I recall, pursuing a diagnosis was prompted by a documentary featuring a footballerPaul Gascoigne, although my memory is a bit unclear on this. I consulted my general practitioner and was subsequently referred to a specialist who provided the diagnosis.
I don't experience the type of 'swearing' (coprolalia) that many people know; my Tourette's causes different involuntary actions and noises, such as tics, muscle tensions, humming, and sighing.
Beyond a little bullyingAt school, and with the occasional remark since, I have mostly kept my condition hidden. So much so that on the very rare occasions I've told someone I have Tourette's, the most common reaction has been: 'No, you don't.'
Even following my diagnosis, and after a short time of informing close friends and family, I put everything back inside. I didn't believe there would be any benefit in disclosing my condition to a larger audience.
And, having mastered the ability to suppress most of my tics, particularly in social or professional settings, I felt confident enough to continue on my own.
But everything changed during the summer of 2024. The stress and anxiety caused by my job intensified my tics, making it more difficult to control them; as a result, my overall health started to decline, then deteriorate.
Tension headachesPreviously, I received it every two weeks, but now it occurs almost every day, and my blood pressure rose to levels that medication could not control.
I had no desire to go to work – or anywhere else, for that matter.
What are tics and Tourette's disorder?
Tics are quick, uncontrollable physical actions or noises that individuals repeat frequently.
Tics are the primary sign of Tourette's syndrome, a disorder that can be identified when a person has had multiple tics for more than a year.
The NHS outlines that different tics include:
- Finger clicking
- Blinking
- Nose wrinkling
- Head banging
- Coughing or sniffing
- Grunting
- Repeated sounds or phrases
- Contacting other individuals or objects
Tourette's disorder typically starts during the early years of life. Unfortunately, there is no known cure for this condition.
Although the NHS mentions that most children with tics do not need treatment, it may be advised to assist in managing the tics.
A day in mid-August 2024, as I gazed absentmindedly at my MacBook's screen, my elbows positioned on the desk, my chin supported by my hands, My right foot was shaking without control, and I had to accept that this was a sudden drop I couldn't stop.
After having heartfelt conversations with my family and coworkers, I made the tough choice to leave behind the football business, which my general practitioner and specialist identified as the main cause of my worsening symptoms.
Certainly, it wasn't that straightforward, and it hasn't been. Bonds, duties, and traditions are hard to leave behind – but I gradually freed myself from promises I could no longer honor.
It deteriorated before it improved, but it eventually got better. Having been self-employed since I was 28 – in publishing, then events, then cycling, then football – I am now starting a new approach to earning a living through writing, which suits my conditions more effectively.
Looking for help with your mental well-being?
You may reach out to the mental health organization Mind at 0300 123 3393 or send a text message to 86463.
Mind can also be contacted via email atinfo@mind.org.uk.
It was ironic that I ended up in a cinema recently watching the impressive new biographical film, I Swear, which focuses on Tourette syndrome advocate John Davidson (portrayed excellently by Robert Aramayo). As for John, with his loud verbal expressions of TS, movie theaters—like the libraries he imagines visiting in the film—are almost certainly not an option.
I have also avoided cinemas, but at 10:30 am on a weekday at Everyman Reigate, I was the only person present for what was basically a private screening and enjoyed the freedom to blink, frown, twitch, squirm, wriggle, sigh, and, yes, laugh and cry as much as I wanted.
It's a remarkable, genuine movie that employs comedy and powerful acting to portray a frequently misunderstood issue, in a manner that will captivate and inform all who watch it.
But the harsh reality is that Tourette Syndrome cannot be cured. The challenge—or chance—lies in altering the surroundings for individuals with Tourette Syndrome ormental healthchallenges exist within. To change mindsets and views, via learning and communication. To reshape the environment.
This is what John Davidson (MBE) has devoted his life to, and what I Swear has achieved effortlessly, which is why we must keep supporting media that challenges stigma.
Fortunately, my headaches have almost completely disappeared; the tics have lessened. My blood pressure is gradually decreasing. I am told that, even in my late 50s, there are still some treatments and medical options available.
So, I'm taking a chance – and am cautiously optimistic about what lies ahead.
Do you have a tale you'd like to tell? Reach out by sending an emailRoss.Mccafferty@Articlepedia Today.co.uk.
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