Every afternoon, when 29-year-old Pham Thi Ngoc Mai comes back from work, she frequently discovers a warm dish waiting on the table in thei...
Every afternoon, when 29-year-old Pham Thi Ngoc Mai comes back from work, she frequently discovers a warm dish waiting on the table in their My Dinh apartment in Hanoi, as though a 'fairy godmother' had stopped by.
The ideal meal is crafted by Shanewas Shakhawat, 31, the Bangladeshi engineer husband of Mai.
While sharing a meal, Mai, at times, can't conceal her astonishment and inquires of him: "When did you learn to prepare Vietnamese cuisine?" Shakhawat merely smiles in reply.
Their romantic journey started in early 2018 when they were connected by shared friends. He had recently arrived in Vietnam to work as a software tester, while she was a new graduate involved in a community initiative in Hoa Binh Province.
She was extremely occupied with her job, so she frequently overlooked the messages he continuously sent her. A few months later, when she traveled to Hanoi for work, they finally met for the first time at a café close to Hoan Kiem Lake.
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| Shanewas Shakhawat, 31, and Pham Thi Ngoc Mai, 29, while traveling to Bangladesh at the end of 2024. Photo provided by the couple. |
The 22-year-old was instantly attracted to his humor and bright smile. "I fell for him because of that smile," she states.
He, in turn, found her to be smart and driven, which made him "want to enter her world." Their affection for one another deepened over time. In late 2019, when he went to Da Nang, Mai suddenly felt "a little sad, and a little reluctant to let go."
Upon his return, she found the bravery to express her emotions. He joyfully revealed that he had shared the same feelings for quite some time. From that point onward, her life became more vibrant, she mentions.
Her regular business travels were no longer isolating, since he was always present to drop her off and pick her up. Once a woman solely dedicated to her career, she was encouraged to go backpacking through Vietnam. "I'm Vietnamese, but he called me a 'turnip' because I knew nothing, while he acted like a 'local expert' who knew every street and every great restaurant," she remembers.
During the Covid-19 lockdown in Hanoi, they visited impoverished areas and the island in the river beneath the Long Bien Bridge to hand out food. At night, he drove her around to locate and provide meals to homeless individuals. "These actions are not only about our love for each other, but also about love for people as a whole," Shanewas says.
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| Shanewas Shakhawat, 31, and Pham Thi Ngoc Mai, 29, during their wedding in Bangladesh in November 2024. Photo provided by the couple. |
When she considered applying for a master's scholarship, he assisted her in gathering information and completing the application.
Although he wasn't particularly fond of academic books, he carefully went through hundreds of pages of documents and participated in sharing groups to help his girlfriend.
Late at night, as she conducted mock interviews, he took on the role of the interviewer, engaging in discussions and perfecting each word.
In 2021, her bid for a scholarship in New Zealand was unsuccessful, leaving her feeling disheartened and ready to quit. He remained by her side, encouraging her to persevere. Their persistence bore fruit the next year when she secured an Australian Government Scholarship.
Mai states: "Living as an international student in Australia can be stressful. Occasionally, I would only have time for a brief message, but he would patiently wait until the end of the day to have a conversation."
Later, when she expressed interest in joining student exchange programs in the U.S. and Malaysia, he once more assisted her with the application process.
After spending six years together, they chose to get married. Their wedding was held in his hometown in Bangladesh in November 2024. Mai's family was present and stayed for two weeks, immersing themselves in the local culture.
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| Shanewas Shakhawat drains the pond and catches fish at his wife's house in Thai Binh, 2025. Photo supplied by Shakhawat |
However, a new difficulty soon emerged. For the first time in many years, Mai was without work and struggled to find employment for an extended period. The stress occasionally affected her, and a straightforward question like "What did you do today?" from her husband could trigger an outburst of anger.
As she stepped back, he extended his arms further. He assisted her in exploring employment options and perfected each part of her resume.
He didn't wish for her to remain at home preparing meals for him, but rather supported her, stating, "You are meant for discovering the world. The key is that you never quit and continuously strive to improve each day."
These phrases and actions tightened her chest. After half a year, she secured her dream position at an international collaboration organization. "I don't know how I would have made it through that tough time without him," she occasionally tells herself.
Shanewas is also recognized by his father-in-law in Thai Binh Province as the "No. 1 son-in-law." Each time they go to her hometown, he rolls up his pants to assist with fishing in the pond, harvesting rice, and completing household tasks.
He frequently observes and purchases useful items such as laundry detergent, fish sauce, salt, or the cake and ice cream that his in-laws enjoy.
His family in Bangladesh has accepted Mai equally. At their first meeting, her mother-in-law cried and laughed, referring to her as a daughter. His father-in-law went to India to purchase a beautiful lehenga wedding dress for her.
"Although his family typically uses spoons and plates, there are always chopsticks and small bowls available on the dining table for me to use," Mai says.
In Hanoi, Shanewas rises early each day to cook. In the afternoon, upon returning, she frequently discovers everything clean and a warm Vietnamese dish set out on the table.
When Mai inquires why he indulges her so much, he simply grins.
He claims that solutions become irrelevant whenevery action he takes is motivated by pure affection"If a definition for unconditional love is truly necessary, I am still in the process of finding it," Shanewas stated.
